Scams Unlimited is proud to announce the Grand Opening of White House University for Whites Only on January 20th, 2017. Qualified students may apply now by sending their non-refundable, cash-only application fee of two hundred dollars ($200.00) to Attn: Bursar; White House University; 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; Washington DC 20166-2017.

White House U carries on the glorious tradition of slave-holding colleges like Georgetown University and the deplorably defunct but soon-to-rise-again Trump University, which made students multi-millionaires in the real-estate industry. White House U boldly goes beyond real estate into the realm of Global Thermonuclear Politics. Upon graduating in white Ku Klux Klan robes, successful students will have learned how to:

• Build walls along borders to keep out rapists and criminals;

• Harass and hurt whole categories of immigrants based on their religion;

• Arrest, torture and dismember individuals until they crack and sign any document placed before them;

• Deport millions of people whose skin color is too brown to be redneck Trump supporters;

• Suppress voters by intimidation and by scare tactics;

• Appoint racists, fascists and wife-beaters to high government positions;

• Sex-offender registration got you down? Become a Supreme Court Justice.

If your career goes wrong, you may eventually share a cell at Club Fed with Donald Trump himself.